DATING
Dating between men and women is the topic featured in yahoo. This topic was updated in May 7, 2009. In western society, dating can be considered as the common thing happened in women and men relationship. In dating, people may go to somewhere and do what they like to do; having candle light dinner, giving gift to their couple etc. They do it as the symbol of love they said. Even it is often the relationship be more intimate than just having candle light dinner or giving gift to their couple.
The culture of western society may give chance people to do what they want as long as it does not disturb other people business. Dating until the intimate affair is the common thing for the society. Yet, it does not exist only in western society, but Indonesia society also familiar with the “dating” now, although the popular name is “pacaran”. However, as a moslem, I need to explain that in Islam, the relationship among men and women is ruled by the Islamic law, which is exist in the qur'an and sunnah.
"Dating" as it is currently practiced in much of the world shall not exist among Muslims, where a man and a woman (or boy/girl) are in a one-on-one intimate relationship, spending time together alone, getting to know each other in a very deep way. A man and a woman are not allowed to be alone together, and any physical contact before marriage is forbidden. Hence, Dating is not permitted in Islam. Allah has prohibited girl/boyfriend intimate relationships before marriage. If a Muslim man has the desire and willingness to assume marital responsibilities, and he does not have anyone in mind, he might ask his friends, family, and relatives if there is a lady that might be suitable for him among their acquaintances and relatives, and then the couple can meet with their family members. as a result, many marriages in the Muslim world were traditionally arranged marriages, though this is not a religious requirement. However, both couples can not be forced to accept an arranged marriage and if a man likes someone (with the intention of marriage) that he knows from work, neighborhood or acquaintances, etc, he shall propose to her. Islam also encourages Muslims to marry persons for whom they have special feelings and are comfortable with. Thus, Islam recommends that potential marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage. Explaining the reason for such a recommendation, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: That would enhance/foster the bonding. However the prospective couple shall not meet in private, this might lead to extremely unwanted situations, as Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said : Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them? (Reported by At-Tirmidhi). At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is pure for them. “Dating” or “pacaran” is not allowed in Islam, because Islam wants its followers to keep their honor before marriage. People is not the same with animal which having sex as they see male or female animals. The reality shows us that the dating activity leads men and women to the forbidden activity, like fornication. "In conclusion, Islam lays its social structure on the basis of a permanent relationship between a man and a woman in the form of a family. Consequently, to preserve this marital relationship, it forbids all forms of temporary relationships between a man and a woman. Pre-marital relationships in Islam are not considered respectful for neither the man nor the woman, nor is it constructive for the concept or the building the family or the Islamic society.
